The “I’s” that affect my eyes…

Reading the Peshkin (1988) allows me to safely experience and acknowledge my feelings and biases. As a teacher of struggling learners, I tend to shut of my own feelings in an attempt to allow my students to arrive at their own conclusions. As I was reading, it was hard for me to identify my own “I’s” because I have not yet undertaken formal research.

However when grading assessments or looking at student work, I've noticed certain immediate reactions to my perceived quality of the work versus the amount of effort I believe the student exerted. Therefore, I've often found myself folding the reading responses of students so that I can’t see who wrote the response before I assess it. I catch myself viewing answers differently when I know who wrote the answer beforehand. I suppose this is my Perceived Effort “I”. This can be especially dangerous when I think about undertaking research in classrooms where I have some familiarity with student behavior and effort.

As previously stated, I was able to relate to some of Peshkin’s “I’s” but mostly in a general way. Yet I resonated with his Justice-Seeking and Pedagogical-Meliorist “I’s”. Looking through student data has brought up feelings of anger with regard to inequality with regard to resources in my school community and also anger toward “ineffective” or “uncaring” teachers. This uncovers my Veteran “I”. This is the I that is angered by newer teachers who I perceive as feeling pity toward the children and contempt for the parents. I also feel anger toward teachers with fancy/expensive teaching degrees, yet have no ability to manage their classrooms. A few of these teachers barely finish a year in our school. Since I’m interested in student achievement, I have to be cognizant of these and many other “I’s” as they come to light.